Torn

Is it better to do that which makes you happy and may not be the way to be the most impact causing, or is it better to be completely miserable and to contribute where you can to the fullest until your shell lets you go? I have trouble answering this question for myself. My natural inclination is to be miserable and be thankful I was there to give of myself what I could. If I focus on being happy I find I look back and am ashamed of being blind to the whole while satisfying the shallow of my depths and realize that it never made me happy at all. I always know that there is a middle ground but I feel that to be not making a choice, trying to play it both ways some would call it. I would hate to be seen as lacking the courage of my convictions and not taking something all the way given the view I have on it. In some philosophies you are encouraged to not over analyze and just get to the business of living. Maybe.